This is my story of surviving suicide...

This story actually begins almost 8 years ago, starting with a young 10 yearold me. My names Olivia Marie Addario and this is my story. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and PTSD for just about half my life. Some due to genetics but mainly due to the cruel hand life has given me. At the prime age of 9 i went looking for my father. This man walked out many years ago after I was born, but this never ended my longing to connect to him. Over the course of 14 months I was abused in many ways. When authorities were finally involved it was stated in my best interest that I would be returned to my mother. My mother now carries blame and guilt for this acts of travesty my father committed. I was a very angers lost child, I would spend years of bullying from my pears to continue my hardships. My first attempt happened October 13th 2014, I tried to over does of over the counter pain medication. I was hospitalized for 48 hours then released. Sadly my depression was still getting the best of me. My freshman year of high school was a dangerous time, my self harming issues grew to an alarming rate. I bare my scars to this day. April 15th 2016 would be my next hospitalization, I slit my wrist in a total of 8 times with a rusty pocket knife. I was hospitalized and forced onto heavy medication “being a danger to myself “. The doctors name was Dr. Black, I am haunted by his interactions to this very moment. This drug was so intense I was paralyze for two days due to it sending my body to shock. After this I was so scared to ever receive help I locked away everything and never looked back. As a famous saying states “every action has an equal opposite reaction”. This reaction finally broke free, January 15th 2019. I layed submerged in a bath for five hours aided by a knife laying adjacent. I was to worked up and continued to play a game of pick up, put down. Then after the 5th hour I gave up. I had to return to school the next day since it was the first day after the end of winter break. The day went as usual but my soul was completely lost. Then that night January 16th in the middle of a thunderstorm I ran to the top of the mall parking garage to attempt to throw myself off it. I wasn’t successful thankfully and told a trusted teacher the next day. I was then put on a state 72 hour hold and hospitalized for a week at a wonderful facility. The point of all this is to document my journey and say I’m happy to be alive, I will keep going. Life is beautiful gift we all are given don’t give it up for anything. If no one has said this to you today I love you and you are appreciated. Thank you for listening...